Life has made me think that taking away things actually makes me have more control.
I am someone who has a tendency to cling to things. And by cling, I refer to just sticking to something stubbornly until the bitter end. This was something very apparent with me as a child. Certain things were hard for me to let go.
For instance, I had a particular blanket I loved to death since I was a kid. I couldn’t sleep without it. I got upset and even cried when my brothers messed with it. I had that blanket so long that it started to develop holes in it over time, to the point where there was a hole at least a foot wide.
I didn’t care. It was my special blanket. The blanket had a lot of wear and tear during my childhood, eventually reaching a point where my mother did not even want to bother repairing it for me any further. No matter what, I had developed an attachment toward it. I can admit now that I had that particular blanket even when my age hit double-digits.
Of course, it was not a tidbit I would openly share with anybody. No way was I going to do that. I was socially awkward enough, extremely introverted, I already had plenty of unique/peculiar quirks to my name depending on how you looked at it and I was not going to tell anyone I still had a security blanket.
Nonetheless, there came a point where I naturally stopped caring about the blanket. It was nothing emotional or anything like that. I just stopped caring. Plain and simple. In fact, I still recall my dad just using the particular blanket as something to wipe the car engines with, and I did not shed a tear or anything.
It was a sign I had grown up, at least in regards to something as childish as a material thing that kept me warm at night when I slept.
I don’t want to make this blog post entirely about a blanky… I do have a point here I am trying to establish.
Basically, I need to learn how to cut ties, as in sever any and all emotional feeling, toward things that aren’t beneficial for me in some way. Especially if it’s part of “figuring myself out,” I have to be willing to say sayonara to things that simply act as obstacles within the journey.
I have to be capable of saying, “I don’t give a damn about this anymore!” And then I advance forward, not looking back. I need to stop having second thoughts about crap that has delayed my growth. I must be able and willing to bypass the bullshit while staying focused on what’s ahead of me.
Anything else just hinders and delays the process even longer. Continue reading