A yearlong bout with what I have gone through this past year would probably drive most people to the breaking point. I have felt pretty much every negative emotion one can experience, and it has been no picnic to sift through each painful feeling. For me, it’s been an awful year in so many ways, but then I think about how others have it worse than me.
I am technically very fortunate that I have people who have put up and take care of me in my time of need. I realize that others are not so lucky. They may not have family or friends who will/can support them in this awkward time after college graduation.
Everyone says you need to grind and keep your head up, that things will eventually improve in due time. I believe there is some light at the end of the tunnel, though my hopes for seeing this light have certainly diminished because of one failure after another. I feel the pessimistic side of me has anchored itself inside the darkness, and my optimistic side wants to continue down the pathway. As a result, it feels like I have been stuck in one place for quite some time because my current emotional state feels conflicted.
Needless to say, ultimately, I want to break the psychological shackles that prevent me from moving forward. Perhaps things are not as bad as they seem – I have clean clothes, food, shelter and so forth. I have a lot of pride for my skill-set that I am dying to show the world.
In all honesty, I think I have had my eyes shut from a sense of defeat that I am not allowing myself to see the light at the tunnel’s end. To overcome any ordeal, one must persevere.
“Discontent is the first necessity of progress …”
– Thomas A. Edison
This quote from the famed inventor has become one of my new mantras in life. I am not happy where I am right now, so this unhappiness in turn compels me to do something about it.