Everyday NhanSense – Day 28

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 28’s Topic: Friendship.
Friendship has always been something important to me, even when I was a little kid. Being the shy, social anxiety-stricken child who would keep to himself meant a lot of the other children would, not avoid me per se, but think twice about approaching me.

It’s not like I was the rat-eating kid or anything weird like that. To be perfectly honest, many kids probably just thought of me as the quiet, Asian guy and just left it at that.

I was often just there in the classroom or playground taking up space in a sense, always being extra careful not to get in anyone else’s way. I just kept to myself by default, so this meant I rarely initiated the attempts at making friends with others. Shyness made me reluctant to do things a normal kid would attempt, such as striking up the key conversation that blooms into a sudden friendship.

“Hey, do you want to play a game?”

“Wow, that’s cool. Can I see that, too?”

Looking back at it, most of my initial friends as a young boy just stemmed from other kids taking me under their wing at some point, and I guess I just rolled with it. Not like I was complaining, though. I still had my group of friends who I always ate lunch with, the ones I would hang out with during recess, the ones I would always partner up with in class and all that jazz.

I wouldn’t say I had no friends, but I was far from Mr. Popular. Long before a thing like a friend counter existed in the form of Myspace or Facebook like what we have today across various social media, kids on the playground just knew who were popular by the sheer look of it. These were the kids who always seemed to have their respective legion of “friends” tag along with them everywhere like mini-posses.

But did I want that? Honestly, the answer would be no. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 25

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 25’s Topic: Fighting the good fight.
It’s no surprise I often use the “Depression” tag a lot for my blog posts. Modern society has such a stigma over this specific “D” word that a lot of people brush it aside, or worse, try to hide it.

“It’s all in your head!”

“Stop being sad!”

“You’ll get over it. It’s just a phase!”

And yet, for some people, depression never goes away. And you know what?

I have depression.

There. Was that so difficult? No, not really. I have actually gotten used to feeling like this in some unpleasant degree. But in all actuality, I have had depression long before this blog had even one letter typed out. Way long before that, in fact.

I can say now with 100 percent certainty that I was a depressed person in a variety of ways. It all started when I was a college student. Back in school, I had to work constantly to make sure I could pay tuition, pay for food, pay for every random expense to keep my student loans down, but it came at the price of my happiness and overall college enrichment.

I was always so out of it in the classroom because I was tired all of the time. There were so many days I barely could get through class running on fumes, just always sitting in the back of the class barely able to keep my eyes awake.

I had many countless nights where I would stay up to blast out a halfhearted essay or two, on top of trying to cram useless information into my noggin that I would forget the moment the exam was finished.

Ultimately, for my introverted personality, this meant I would forego a lot of things like social gatherings or just being able to relax like a young adult who had a lot on his plate. Well, it was a lot for me to handle anyway. I managed to squeeze some time for myself here and there, but my life was far from well-rounded.

Looking back at it, I should have seen the writing on the wall a lot sooner. I found myself talking about how I was “possibly” depressed to a career counselor of mine on multiple visits, where I danced around the notion that I may or may not have needed professional help.

Perhaps had I done something sooner, maybe I could have nipped the problem in the bud before all of the worst effects blossomed out of control just a few months after college graduation.
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 22

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 22’s Topic: Brainstorming.
First off, I want to throw out some apologies in case some of my blog posts this past week in particular have been a bit too dour or anything like that. I would like to pretend that everything is A-OK for me at the moment, but they’re not. Things suck, so I don’t want to sugarcoat it.

It’s something I have picked up over the years. When the going gets tough, hiding from your problems doesn’t make the issues disappear. They still will be waiting for you at the end of the day, unless of course you do something about them.

During those particular days where a lot of my options are exhausted, it goes back to something I keep telling myself – “Spend more time brewing and less time brooding.” If you have the time and energy to sulk, feel depressed or whatever negative-filled activity you could subject yourself through, don’t.

Instead, and this is a big INSTEAD, convert those grim feelings toward something productive and positive.

For instance, a random thing I have found myself doing a lot in the past two months is just getting an old-fashioned notebook and then jotting things down by pen. Oh my gosh! It’s so retro! Writing something by hand!

How absurd … How absurd!

But hey, whatever works will suffice. That’s the way I see it.

Anyway, I find myself just scribbling random notes and tidbits down all the time. It could just be simple plans for the next day or they could be me brainstorming stuff up for various concepts I want to develop or pursue.

And other times, they’re just little notes like the one below.

Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 14

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 14’s Topic: Reaching your goals.
Hi there. I hope you all had a great Christmas. Mine was rather quiet, but it was fine for what it was. No real complaints really. Having it be Christmas in a new setting for me was a refreshing experience in its own ways. I intend this new town I am living in to be my home for quite some time, so I have to make the best of it, don’t I?

Anyway, it’s back to business. Today, I want to talk a bit about reaching your goals and why it’s important to KEEP ON TRYING no matter what. The climb can be arduous, your own patience may wear thin after a while, but life doesn’t offer you any other choice if you want to get where you want to be. Some people get no shortcuts, and this is perfectly normal.

For those of you who do get some kind of “boost” up the perpetual mountain of obstacles/adversity, then consider yourself lucky. But the norm is for most people to do the climb the hard way. Now, this doesn’t mean we can’t get some sort of help here and there, but the brunt of the effort should derive from your spirit and willpower to keep hanging on like your (gasp) life depends on it.

On my desktop, I have this particular picture to remind me constantly about how some of the world’s most successful people did not necessarily start at the top.

Lost in Life
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 13

Christmas Girl
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 13’s Topic: Christmas.
Well, it’s the big day! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Because it’s the 25th of December, I am going to write out 25 wonderful, random memories from Christmas throughout my life. In no particular order of significance. Perhaps these Christmas memories growing up are not that exciting by any means, but heck … these random memories are still pleasant and precious to me nonetheless.

Now without further ado.

1. Getting to stay up all night because it was Christmas time (my dad normally would not let us stay up at nighttime.)
2. Playing video games with my little brothers. Super Nintendo. Nintendo 64. The works.
3. Getting cool gifts on Christmas.
4. Getting to eat my mom’s excellent, homemade and authentic Vietnamese cuisine like phở. Yum.
5. Playing out in the snow.
6. Building a snowman with my little brothers.
7. Playing with the neighbor kids during Christmas.
8. Hauling snow at my grandma’s house with my little brothers, trying to build a snow fort.
9. Snowball fights.
10. Drinking hot chocolate. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 1

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 1’s Topic: Another beginning.

Hello again, everyone.

Long time no see. Well, about 43 days or so to be exact. But who’s counting? To be blunt, I was starting to miss blogging each day. Don’t mind the blog’s look for now. I am still fiddling with everything, and I hope to get all the appearance and post formats set in stone. I was content with the previous appearance, but something different now and then is healthy for one’s sanity. It keeps things from going stagnant … hence the name change to “Everyday NhanSense” versus “Daily NhanSense.”

This blog has been my personal, online sanctuary of sorts. I started this blog years ago to help me find solace in the face of everyday life. Whether it was through rough patches from bouts with personal doubt or embracing happier moments that sprung up here and there, this blog acted as the metaphorical glue to bind everything together.

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, without this blog, I don’t even know where my mental state would be as I sit down to type these words out. As I often tell others, this blog acts as my “pulse” to remind people that I am still in fact alive. Going on hiatus for such a long time proved challenging after a while.

I had never taken such a long break from blogging on this site before, considering that the longest gap of inactivity I can recall was maybe a few days tops but not more than a whole month. It was like I was neglecting something that had been paramount to my day-to-day operations.
Continue reading


To Live by a New Motto

Hi there. My name is Nhan Pham, and this is my personal blog I have been using for three+ years now. However, for the past few months, I have been neglecting this site for whatever reason. Let’s just say a lot of things happened, which forced me to rethink everything from the ground up. Blogging has been a great means to relieve stress for me, but I fell into a real slump where even writing a post each day proved difficult without proper focus or motivation.

I want to change this fact from this point forward. The blog itself reflects my “pulse” and offers me a means to share my personality and various interests.

“Get good. Be better.”

This is the new motto I want to live by, not only for this blog, but in general. It has become apparent that if I want to get anywhere in life, I have to strive to improve myself in more facets. Being just proficient at something isn’t enough to me anymore. You have to go a step beyond and surpass individual thresholds and, most importantly, be able to stand with or above others in a respective area. Continue reading