Tag Archives: People

Everyday NhanSense – Day 78

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 78’s Topic: Understanding.
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Lately, I have had the urge to be more open about my random problems I deal with on a daily basis. In particular, I have found myself often telling others I have the serious kind of mood swings, which affect me by constantly messing with my emotions in an unpredictable manner.

In a sense, perhaps I am wanting more understanding about what I attempt to keep well under control every day, every hour and probably until my last breath.

But that’s OK. I don’t expect modern medicine to develop a complete “cure” for mood swings or anything like that in the near future. Medication exists to balance out the mood, but I don’t want to partake in such a pill-popping commitment. There are more pressing illnesses out there like cancer that need more attention.

Mood swings, ultimately, can just make things a bit erratic, so to speak. I can be happy one minute and then feel completely sad the next, as an example.

Not the end of the world. However, I do in fact wish there were days I could just let my emotions run the proper and natural gamut without me needing to … pretend that I am a normal person?

And that’s the thing. I know I am not normal like others, though I don’t really want to imply it’s that much of a handicap.

Like, you see, if I were in a wheelchair, it would be easy for others to understand that something isn’t quite the same with me. With mood swings, combined with my nerdy and social awkwardness on top of it, everything projects the wrong kind of things I should be showcasing about my personality. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 52

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 52’s Topic: Social anxiety acting as a barrier.
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By now, it’s pretty obvious I have horrible social anxiety that affects me day-to-day. In some instances, I manage to cope with it, and then there are other times I get so overly stimulated that I freeze.

Today, something happened to cause me to do just that. A coworker invited me to her birthday party this evening. She was going to have some of her friends over, particularly to play cards. I wasn’t feeling too well and some other personal things came up, so I wouldn’t have been able to go regardless. Or so I felt.

Besides feeling like I would have been a real buzzkill for her party, I just became frightened at the prospect of coming across too many new people at once and becoming too socially awkward with them. This, right here, is what caused me to start feeling a bit too nervous for my own taste.

I do horribly with big groups. I am OK with a few people. If they are strangers to boot, it makes me feel very shy and bashful. I already feel like the odd one among a small company of individuals, so a larger group makes me feel even more isolated.

I feel genuinely bad as well. My coworker is really nice, so I feel like a jerk for not sucking it up and heading over to her shindig. Because of situations like this, I realize now how devastating my social anxiety has been throughout my whole dang life.

It’s a barrier I have to break down, at least partially so I can venture out from my own self-created bubble once in a while.
Continue reading

Daily NhanSense – Day 16


Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 16’s Topic: Being invisible.


To follow up on yesterday’s post, there are days where I just feel so invisible and hidden from the world. I know that I am good at hiding, just laying low while everything else in the universe keeps on going.

But I want all of this to stop at some point. I want to be seen. I want to be acknowledged as a person. Is it wrong of me to want this kind of attention?

I have lived most of my life in my own protective bubble, always preferring being behind the scenes rather than sticking out in the limelight.

It’s hard for a shy guy like myself to switch gears to become Mr. Outgoing all of a sudden. And yet, I want to invest all the effort I can possibly muster to take my life forward.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction

Daily NhanSense – Day 15


Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 15’s Topic: Social media.


A few weeks ago, I made a decision to deactivate my personal Facebook account. Like, it wasn’t that big of a deal or anything, but I felt compelled to test a hunch I had lurking in the back of my mind for a while.

And that was: if I were to “disappear” from Facebook for a while, would anyone notice?

Lo and behold, I turned off my Facebook and nothing really happened. But this was to be expected.

I have isolated myself for years now, and I just found myself often peeking around on Facebook to see what my friends and peers have been up to. At times, I can embarrassingly admit that I grew envious of what I would come across here and there.

A fancy job offer. Personal advancement. A brand-new car. Just whatever.

On one hand, I probably should be happy for them that they are moving ahead in life, but conversely I was feeling jealous that I was still more or less “stuck” and anchored to my circumstances.

Then again, one also has to remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. People love using Facebook as a means to set up some nice window dressing. I guess it is safe to assume not everything is as grand as it appears, though you shouldn’t rule out that things could in fact be going swimmingly for certain individuals.

But I had to cut that portion of Facebook out of my life, at least for now.
Continue reading

Daily NhanSense – Day 11


Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 11’s Topic: Thoughts.


I am someone who tends to have a wandering mind, one constantly on the go with thoughts racing in and out.

I always work on various “projects” throughout the week, but I think it is about time I accelerated my efforts to bring them to fruition. It can be tough at times due to how the sense of “willpower” is in fact finite, and you have to replenish this willpower when it becomes depleted.

I wish I could have endless willpower, and then I would probably have a million things finished by now. Nonetheless, I am still human, and as a human I can only do so much.

This doesn’t mean, however, that I cannot put in an extra bit of effort on my part to squeeze out even a little more productivity.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction


Daily NhanSense – Day 1


Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 1’s Topic: Blogging.


Hey there, everyone.

So I have decided to change the blogging structure of this site from here on out, and hopefully I can stick with it consistently. Let’s just say I have grown weary and annoyed at myself for not being able to blog in great deal as much as I would like.

I don’t really have anyone else to blame but myself for this. There just happen to be days where I do in fact want to blog with a lot more oomph in my posts, but it’s tricky finding enough motivation at times.

It kills me a little on the inside whenever I do those “throwaway” posts with very little substance. However, the daily motivational picture/message of some sort will still be part of this site as well. I just think it’s nice seeing some kind of day-to-day, uplifting quote, so I will keep posting them.

But why the change in blogging? Basically, the end goal is to improve myself to the point where this site can be something really substantial and special.

I started this blog a few years ago as an outlet to vent my frustrations and to keep my writing techniques sharp, but a lot has happened since then. Continue reading

Pet Peeve: Undervaluing Anxiety

Everyone deals with anxiety at some point in their lives, but some people have it a lot worse than others.

I have always been someone stricken with the more extreme kind of anxiety, especially in regards to social situations. I have always been more than just a shy guy in this regard, and it annoys the crap out of me when people tell me that I am making a big deal out of simple scenarios.

For instance, meeting strangers can be difficult for me. I can take awhile to get used to people, which leads to cases where think I am extremely anti-social in this sense.

Nonetheless, I think it is important for people to show tact for those who get a bit more anxious than the average, “normal” person. I have long accepted that I am not like others when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Heck, it is an everyday battle with some sort of anxiety-based struggle. To undervalue anxiety can be borderline insulting.