Tag Archives: Hope

Everyday NhanSense – Day 80

anime_confused_girl
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 80’s Topic: Childhood innocence.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
When you’re a kid, you are allowed to say the darndest things. You’re allowed to think freely. You’re allowed to be, well, a kid.

You don’t have to worry about money, where you live, what grownup responsibility you have to have taken care of next and this is all because of childhood innocence. In a way, I miss being a kid. I probably wasn’t the happiest kid in the world, but I was at the very least curious enough to see how things would pan out.

I had a skewed view of the world. Who could blame me? I didn’t think much beyond going to school, doing homework, recess, playing games with my brothers and all that jazz. Life was simple. Life was good.

At the same time, life had to go on. I couldn’t be a kid forever. I am an adult. Mind you, I am probably an adult who needed to grow up a long time ago, but I digress.

Things happened. Some were horrible. Some were great learning experiences. Regardless, all of this stuff led me to face my own maturity, or lack of, by forcing my hand. I couldn’t continue to think like I was a kid who needed to depend on others so much for basic needs.

Food.

Shelter.

Clothes.

Heck, I didn’t do my own laundry for a really long time as a college graduate. A bit embarrassing, but it’s true.

At a certain point, I had to tell myself this all needed to stop. It was time to let go of the childhood innocence, at least until some grownup aspects came into play, and really seek out the independence I should have achieved at this given point in time. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 78

watching
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 78’s Topic: Understanding.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Lately, I have had the urge to be more open about my random problems I deal with on a daily basis. In particular, I have found myself often telling others I have the serious kind of mood swings, which affect me by constantly messing with my emotions in an unpredictable manner.

In a sense, perhaps I am wanting more understanding about what I attempt to keep well under control every day, every hour and probably until my last breath.

But that’s OK. I don’t expect modern medicine to develop a complete “cure” for mood swings or anything like that in the near future. Medication exists to balance out the mood, but I don’t want to partake in such a pill-popping commitment. There are more pressing illnesses out there like cancer that need more attention.

Mood swings, ultimately, can just make things a bit erratic, so to speak. I can be happy one minute and then feel completely sad the next, as an example.

Not the end of the world. However, I do in fact wish there were days I could just let my emotions run the proper and natural gamut without me needing to … pretend that I am a normal person?

And that’s the thing. I know I am not normal like others, though I don’t really want to imply it’s that much of a handicap.

Like, you see, if I were in a wheelchair, it would be easy for others to understand that something isn’t quite the same with me. With mood swings, combined with my nerdy and social awkwardness on top of it, everything projects the wrong kind of things I should be showcasing about my personality. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 77

images
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 77’s Topic: Trust.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Over the years, the list of people I truly trust with all my heart certainly has dwindled in number.

A lot of it has to do with me creating trust issues with others, seeing that I have been quite problematic, unstable and downright infuriating as a person to deal with on a personal level.

But I digress.

I can easily say this tidbit about myself these days. I was a messed-up person when I started this journey a few years ago, which led to the creation of this blog. Never had I envisioned this blog to be anything more than something I happened to write on here and there, but perhaps one day I can look back at this blog and see it as something more.

A beginning.

A beginning for figuring out what the heck is wrong with me, while also being a means of remedying me from my troubles.

Through this blog, I hope to establish new trust with others who need that certain someone to guide them through their own respective darkness and uncertainty. I have been through my own share of demons, haunting me throughout various years.

I have had nightmares over them. I have had times where I didn’t know what would happen next. I ran away from my problems. I hid away from the people who still wanted to care about me when I was basically destroying myself.

Trust. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 71

aslfk1
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 71’s Topic: Friends.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Finding friends is something on the agenda for me as of late. I am an introvert. I am a loner on some days.

But by all means, I need friends as much as the next person. Friends are people you can hang out with to mix up your routine. It’s nice to have someone to talk to about things rather than just being alone all the time.

As I always emphasize, I have never been Mr. Popular, but the friends I did have were important to me. You can’t put a price on the number of friends when all that matters is how good the friendships are. At least, this is what I like to think.
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 68

B-CUq77CQAEEm1H

——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 68’s Topic: Finding confidence.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Confidence.

It has always been something I have always found difficult to muster when I need it most.

What is confidence, in all honesty?

In a particular context, I think of confidence as being able to present yourself without hesitation. If you can just walk up to someone and sell yourself in a big way.

No fear.

No reluctance.

No need to put up a facade.

No smoke or mirrors.

You just go up and be you, the one and only, and act like you are special. Because deep down, you know darn well you’re special in your own respective ways.

This, to me, is confidence and then some.

And of course, having confidence means you are not afraid of what others will think of you. Your reputation precedes you. Or wait … Maybe, just maybe, you just give a great impression regardless!
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 66


url——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 66’s Topic: Brewing up something special.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
I have always been a dreamer. As a child, for some strange reason, I have always had this peculiar habit when I wanted to “brainstorm” an idea, no matter what it was.

This habit entailed me doing something really strange now that I think about it. For a long time as a kid, I would find a bunch of rubber bands and dangle them around in my hands, “playing” with them as I came up with ideas.

imgres

I don’t know why it was rubber bands. I just had a weird fascination with them. I would stretch them out and twirl the elastic bands around my fingers as I thought up something in my head.

A cartoon character.

A video game idea.

A TV show I think would be cool to watch.

Just whatever.

That’s what I did a lot as a kid. I would daydream. I would make dorky, childish sounds as I tossed the rubber bands around in my hand. My family knew about this odd thing about me as well. My brothers teased me about it. My mom would scold me for leaving my rubber bands behind on the couch or in my bedroom.

I would always pluck a bunch of rubber bands from the kitchen and just do my brainstorming somewhere in the house.

What can I say?

I was certainly an odd child. I can admit it without being embarrassed. I was just strange.
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 65

girl racing car [www.animefullfights.com]
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 65’s Topic: Moving fast in life.
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
It’s such a stark contrast when life is in motion and you aren’t anchored down by depression or those other unwanted feelings.

My life has been moving a lot faster, or at least in regards to the pace. I have a packed schedule mostly filled up by work, which is definitely good, but my days go by so fast. I show up for work and then have limited time for everything else.

It goes to show how everything can really flash by with a blink of an eye. Heck, trying to keep up with my blogging has been tricky sometimes as well. I think I am technically a day(ish) behind, but I’ll fix that right away.
Continue reading