Tag Archives: Hope

The 54th Deadline: Helping Hand

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The 54th Deadline: For every success, for every botch, life will always give you many opportunities.
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I am someone who has lost his fair share of helping hands over the years. At first, people are often willing to stretch out their hands and offer whatever aid they can. However, there comes a point where they feel more and more reluctant to do so. Help can only go so far.

I have learned this about myself over the years. I was at times an extremely needy person. A weak individual. Just someone you didn’t want to be around out of fear of being sucked into my myriad of personal problems.

But at my worst state, I begged for help every step of the way. I received a lot of temporary relief, brief reassurance that everything would be OK, but a lot of it would fade away and the cycle would repeat itself all over again.

And so what could I do? I asked for further help. I sought after helping hands to pull me out of whatever downward spiral I had found myself caught in for a given bout with doubt.

Before I knew it, a lot of my former friends and peers over time just didn’t want to interact with me anymore. Not because they hated me or anything like that. If anything, it was because I was turning into a walking cesspool of negativity. And quite frankly, I can accept this nowadays as a reasonable answer.

One day, I just felt super deserted. I thought everyone around me was disappearing from my corner. In reality, I had created this sense of desolation for myself. I thought my problems were too overwhelming. Sure, at times, I thought I could never overcome anything that had set itself in front of me.

Quite frankly, again, I was a weakling. I was downright pathetic. And it showed.

I couldn’t rely on much of anyone after a certain point. It was basically just a one-on-one bout with everything that had stifled my progress in life.

It sucked.

But I got through one obstacle after another. Somehow, anyway. Continue reading

The 54th Deadline: Remember the Name

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The 54th Deadline: For every success, for every botch, life will always give you many opportunities.
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Once again, I have been faced with another crossroad in my life to determine my next path in this complex and unforgiving journey. This one’s a doozy, to boot.

I haven’t felt quite “right” for a while now. It’s hard to explain without sounding pessimistic, mopey or whatever you want to call it. Basically, I don’t feel like myself.

Certain things don’t appeal to me as much anymore. Certain activities aren’t as fun. Certain interests seem less exciting.

Whether it’s watching anime or playing video games, I just feel like a part of me is out of place from within my very soul. It’s disheartening, for sure, when you feel a bit broken from the inside out. As if a gear is out of place, I seemingly can move on with my day-to-day operations, but something isn’t making me feel, well, happy so to speak.

It sucks. It just really sucks because I want to enjoy life. I want to feel content about my situation. I want to feel like I am making some actual progress toward where I need to be. At the same time, I would be lying to myself if I wasn’t honest upfront about my emotional state.

I wish it were something more obvious. For instance, let’s say I got into an accident and couldn’t walk anymore. Let’s say I would need a wheelchair to get around for the rest of my days. That would be something I could understand at face value. There wouldn’t be anything hidden or mysterious. I would just be handicapped and unable to walk.

But for this particular, and quite ambiguous I have to add, personal problem from within, I just can’t label what it is and be done with it. I just don’t really know what it is, and I am just uncertain if I will ever figure it out soon.

Could it be another bout with depression?

Is it something along this line?

Could it be pent-up rage? Sadness?

I really wish I knew, but this is why I feel prompted to change some elements of what I am all about, at least for the time being.

“Get good. Be better.”

It was a really simple message. You get good at something, then you strive to be better.

And for me, this entailed a lot of random facets. I wanted to get good at cooking for instance, and of course I wanted to elevate my skills toward super chef status.

For a long while, this has been this blog’s motto. However, I felt like I needed to change it to, “Remember the name.”
Continue reading

Blog Update: Almost Back in Business

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Everyday NhanSense: A blogging update.——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Hi again.

As mentioned in the previous post, I wanted to take a few days to rethink how I wanted to approach this blog. Well, those few days ended up being a week, and during that time I have finally decided – I want to aim for fewer blog posts as a whole, but with a shifted emphasis toward more quality.

And by quality, of course, I mean I want to write more elaborate (not necessarily meatier) blog posts. I simply want less of those throwaway posts I find myself writing here and there when I am lacking motivation or just feeling a tad lazy to blast out something worthwhile.

Don’t get me wrong. I probably could write out 5,000 words for each blog post if I tried hard enough, but this isn’t my kind of writing style. I prefer more concise pieces. But at the same time, I have to play to my strengths.

As a writer, like anyone else, we don’t always blast out gold from our keyboards on any given day. Sometimes, it’s hard to find that spark, that surge of inspiration, to keep the creative juices flowing. Nonetheless, I don’t want to sound like I am making excuses.

Ultimately, I want to improve my blogging and take it to the next logical level, which is to have more people aware of this blog’s very existence.
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 125

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 125’s Topic: Despair.
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I have to find ways to dispel some despair lingering in my life.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction

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Everyday NhanSense – Day 124

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 124’s Topic: Discipline.
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It has certainly dawned on me for the past few days that I am by all means an undisciplined person. Well, at least in many respects.

Looking back at it, I obviously would have been a much different person to this day had I been even a touch more disciplined in certain areas.

For instance, let’s take exercise/working out as an area I could have tackled with more enthusiasm. Even as a child, I didn’t necessarily hate to exercise, but I preferred staying indoors to play video games and being at home. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 123

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 123’s Topic: Clues.
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I need to figure out more things …

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction

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Everyday NhanSense – Day 122

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 122’s Topic: Prayer.
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Pray for guidance.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction