The 54th Deadline: Life’s always going to give you another chance if you’re constantly persistent.
It’s out there somewhere. At some point, I know I will find that “happy horizon” I keep picturing in my mind.
This happy horizon will be the epitome of everything in life I have always wanted, just that one point where life is perfect for me.
It’s something that has eluded me for so many years. Five years ago, I let myself slip into despair, lost track of my goals and then fell into a downward spiral.
I was by all means at the lowest points in my life, but now I continue to go day-by-day with the notion that I will bounce back completely and turn everything around if I play my cards right. It hasn’t been a walk in the park by any means for someone like me. If anything, I’ve met with my share of disaster here and there as I began to discover elements about myself.
I am a flawed, troubled person in lots of facets. I was extremely weak when all of these nasty problems occurred at the beginning.
All of these areas became damaged in some fashion when my life began to crumble apart piece-by-piece.
I was some lowly person who couldn’t land a “simple” job to sustain himself, let alone attain a professional job in the field of my interest after graduating college. This really put a damper on my self-esteem.
I clung to some hope that I would stumble my way to my dreams, but this was a foolish ideal. This was something I couldn’t solve magically in one go. It would take time.
Lots of time in fact.
As I write this, I am still trying to sort it all out.
But I am a better person because of all of my personal trials and ordeals. I am a stronger person because I toughened up when the circumstances forced me into another perpetual corner of self-defeating thoughts.
Most importantly of all, I became less susceptible to the emotional crap that would bog me down along the way. I am human, however. I have not become impervious to the emotional backlash we all have to face when trying to look at anything discouraging comes before us.
Instead, I have learned to perceive it as another challenge, as another obstacle one has to overcome if any forward progress can be made.
I try to encourage myself to keep looking for any sort of optimism to cling to, any shred of “It will be OK” to keep me motivated. Someday, I know I’ll find that happy horizon. Continue reading