Tag Archives: Gaming

The 54th Deadline: Putting the Pieces Together

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The 54th Deadline: Life’s always going to give you another chance if you’re constantly persistent.
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By all means, I have been an enigma as an individual.

I have been scatterbrained.

I have lacked focus.

I have been struggling to muster up adequate motivation to achieve what needs to be done in a timely fashion.

So as a result, I feel “incomplete” at the moment. For a long time now, my goals seem unclear even to myself. My aspirations seem distant. My determination, though constant, isn’t as strong as it should be in the face of my own limits and weaknesses.

I feel like I am dawdling. I feel like I am not being productive when I have all the tools and means to accomplish everything I put my mind to, and this herein lies the main problem with myself – the enigma that is my well-being is broken up into so many pieces.

For me to become “OK” when everything is said and done, it’s up to me to figure out how to tackle this puzzle on my own and ultimately solve it so I can finally discover the big picture waiting for me when I finish.

Will the payoff be worth it in the end? I sure hope so. There are no guarantees, but one has to have some sense of optimism for themselves. Life’s a really twisted game in this regard. It’s not like these pieces are all right in front of me. No way. Definitely not the case.

Everything has been thrown around all over the place, adding further difficulty to something that has already presented itself as a grueling challenge.

Trust me. I know firsthand.

It’s been five years and counting. It doesn’t get any easier. It just goes to show how much perseverance one has to have to keep trying. Because, let’s face it – I began this game while already missing a few pieces from this puzzle to begin with when the personal meltdown took effect.

Allow me to explain. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 76

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 76’s Topic: Creativity.
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I strongly believe I am a creative individual. I have always been someone who likes to think outside the box in a variety of ways.

Ultimately, my ambition for the future is to become a content creator of sorts. I want to make stuff with my creative stamp to it, especially things I could be particularly proud of to show anyone.

I certainly have a passion and appreciation for those who like to think beyond linear means, so I want to make sure my own projects prove worthwhile.
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Everyday NhanSense – Day 75

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 75’s Topic: Gaming.
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I have a confession to make as a gamer – For the past few years, I haven’t played many other types of video games, at least in terms of actual gaming consoles and different genres.

Instead, I have played x amount of hours into two particular games.

The two most played games?

League of Legends and now Dota 2.

I play a very niche (well, not so much anymore) genre that is difficult to explain without going in depth, so I will leave it at that. Heck, even a lot of the avatars and backgrounds I use are Dota 2-related pictures or references in some fashion.

But don’t get me wrong.

By all means, I am still a gamer at heart. I will always be a gamer. Even until my last breath, I will still always think of myself as such.

Gaming is easily one of the most important things to me in all of existence. I have always loved gaming, especially as a child. There were certain joys and feelings of excitement that gaming could only bring me.

Those afternoons where I went over to play a two-player game with my friends.

The days my brother and I would tackle the last boss of a video game as a team on our Super Nintendo.

Or those evenings where my dad would take my brothers and I to the video store so we could rent video games … This last one, in particular, was probably one of my favorite treats as a kid.

There was always something appealing about getting to play a new game. And even as an adult, that wonder hasn’t fade. I will say, however, that life hasn’t given me much time as of late to sate my gaming urges.

And you know what?

That’s OK. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 61

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 61’s Topic: Finding reasons to be happy.
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Days like today remind me why I want to find true happiness. For the second half of the day, I was feeling gloomy as heck. Totally blue. I kept it to myself as best as I could. I have had to learn to find ways of keeping it somewhat together before things get really out of hand.

For me when I am sad, I can’t really cry.

Mood swings are so fickle like that. I am perfectly A-OK one minute, and then it’s like a roulette of emotions at the drop of a dime. I never know what I am going to feel.

It’s anger one day.

It’s sadness the other.

Why can’t I just be happy?

I ask myself all the time. Why can’t I just lock onto the feelings of joy and maintain that every single day? Boy, life would be a lot better for sure.

At the same time, I wonder if I am just destined to be like this forever … Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 49

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 49’s Topic: Laughing things off.
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Do you want to know who I think are the happiest people on this planet?

The ones who can laugh off things like it’s no big deal.

Tonight after my card game tournament, I experienced this kind of feeling for the first time in a long while. I did utterly terrible in terms of performance. I dropped near the bottom of the rankings and managed to eek out a victory in the end to avoid the goose egg of “0” wins.

And you know what? I am not mad, sad or anything negative. Quite the opposite, really.

In a sense, I am happy, relieved even, that I managed to brush off losing so hard. Yeah, I could make excuses that I lost because I wasn’t on my game today or it was because I altered my deck as an experiment, which I did, but that all doesn’t matter.

I had fun regardless. This is something I wish I could apply more to daily life, and then I would be such a happier camper with less of the stress and drama to bog me down.

If you were to come across the old me from just a few years back, I probably would have rushed home after the tournament to mope that I lost so badly, but instead I stayed a few extra hours and had a lot of conversations with others. Heck, I even bartered with a few people for some good card trades to help improve my deck.

This is something, by the way, that a shy person like myself has a hard time. I asked politely and traded with confidence. I even ended the trades with a handshake and a thank you.
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 47


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 47’s Topic: Childhood dreams.
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When you’re a kid, you don’t really know what you want when you’re older, do you?

I know I sure as heck didn’t know. I thought I did.

I was going to make video games and work for Nintendo. I wrote a letter to the company’s American branch as a class assignment in sixth grade. I was so sure that was the path I was going to take in life. Guess what? I ended up not going down that path. I am not going to say things didn’t pan out, but it was more that you come across different forks in the road and you have to make a choice.

You have no clue what each destination will ultimately take you, but I guess this is the challenge about living out your life.

Things certainly are easier when you are a kid in this regard. Ignorance is bliss, after all. You think the whole world is your oyster, and we are fed with the notion that we can be anything if we all try to be.

The reality is, however, we cannot all have certain dreams come true for whatever reason.

For instance, due to my height being something less than six feet tall and lack of coordination or ball skills, there was no way I would end up playing in the NBA as a basketball star. Not gonna happen.

Nope.

No way, Jose.

It would be impossible.

But you know what? I don’t have to be an NBA star. It’s not what I want to do, anyway.
Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 21


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 21’s Topic: Card games.
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One of my favorite types of games out there is easily any card game. There is something intricate about cards that I just enjoy. A good card game gets my mind thinking from all kinds of angles, especially when deep and intricate strategies go beyond just the text on the cards.

The first card game I really got into was Yu-Gi-Oh! all the way back in middle school. I played the card game with my little brothers and friends. The game boomed in popularity for a few years, lingering into the end of my freshman year of high school before the fad died down (for the time, anyway.)
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Needless to say, I’ll admit I was one of those dorky kids who liked playing some matches with other random kids in the library during lunch break. Yeah, I was one of those people during freshman year of high school. Big surprise, right?

For an overly shy guy like myself with severe social anxiety, card games did not force, but more like, they encouraged me to be sociable. The person who would clam up under normal circumstances suddenly became a lot more vocal and confident when it came to slamming cards down onto the table with confidence.

But as the Yu-Gi-Oh! card game started to fade away in its local player base around my area, I had to store my cards away for years and years. It wasn’t until just a year and a half ago, give or take, that I started to pick up the hobby again in the form of Magic: The Gathering. It’s the world’s most popular card game in the world for a reason, after all.
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