Tag Archives: Friendship

Everyday NhanSense – Day 40

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 40’s Topic: Regret.
It takes a lot of guts to admit something about myself, at least in regards to how I have been for at least four of the past five years.

I have been weak. Outright weak as a person. Weak in terms of willpower. Weak in terms of mental toughness.

Just absurdly weak.

But with that said, I have grown stronger these days, or at least stronger in the sense that I can stand on my own two feet with less help. However, I am still not 100 percent independent quite yet.

A long time ago, in the midst of the worst symptoms of my depression, my weaknesses as a person became evident. What I sought after the most was just comfort, a human voice to calm me down and assure me that everything was A-OK, even though inside my mind I wasn’t quite sure what to believe.

And so, I made a lot of phone calls at my worst.

And I am talking about calls that could last for an hour or longer. These weren’t over in five minutes or anything. These were chunks of time out of someone’s schedule just to hear me blab and cry about my problems.

I regret being so needy. I was certainly a major inconvenience in some respects. I wish I could call up every single person I talked to and apologize, but I don’t think they would want to hear my apologies anyway. They had their fill.

You see, and this is me being honest, it’s not like I wanted to turn my once-called friends into my personal therapists. I had no intention of that. I was a confused, depressed mess. I wanted answers, but perhaps a part of my mind didn’t want to hear what my friends had to say and process it properly.

And so, I called and called around, exhausting the numbers on my phone.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciated the talks with my friends at the time. There were lots of pep talks, lots of “It’s only a phase. You’ll get over it!” kind of discussions and whatnot. I guess above all else, and this is me being frank, I think I just appreciated that these people were willing to listen to me for so long. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 35

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 35’s Topic: Finding the right friends.
Throughout my life, I have always had my group of friends. They may not have been many in number by any means, but I always appreciated having that particular group to call my own. I’ll admit I can be a bit of a social oddball in my own ways, so it was like I was always that square piece trying to fit into into what society deemed as the “proper circle.”

Basically, it has always been a mini-challenge to wedge myself into social structures and mingle with others confidently. Regardless, I have managed.

Take high school for instance. I bounced around during lunch time with a lot of groups.

The kids who ate lunch in the parking lot.

The other kids who took honor classes like me.

Some sports groups.

The card-playing groups.

There were days I couldn’t tell you why I decided to eat with a certain group for whatever reason. But looking back, I guess my favorite group was honestly just a certain group of friends.

I’ll admit it. We were geeks. We talked a lot about anime, video games and a bunch of other topics that high schoolers would be called dorks for, but I didn’t care. I enjoyed eating lunch with them and just being able to hold conversations without stammering.

What can I say? I fit in perfectly. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 28

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 28’s Topic: Friendship.
Friendship has always been something important to me, even when I was a little kid. Being the shy, social anxiety-stricken child who would keep to himself meant a lot of the other children would, not avoid me per se, but think twice about approaching me.

It’s not like I was the rat-eating kid or anything weird like that. To be perfectly honest, many kids probably just thought of me as the quiet, Asian guy and just left it at that.

I was often just there in the classroom or playground taking up space in a sense, always being extra careful not to get in anyone else’s way. I just kept to myself by default, so this meant I rarely initiated the attempts at making friends with others. Shyness made me reluctant to do things a normal kid would attempt, such as striking up the key conversation that blooms into a sudden friendship.

“Hey, do you want to play a game?”

“Wow, that’s cool. Can I see that, too?”

Looking back at it, most of my initial friends as a young boy just stemmed from other kids taking me under their wing at some point, and I guess I just rolled with it. Not like I was complaining, though. I still had my group of friends who I always ate lunch with, the ones I would hang out with during recess, the ones I would always partner up with in class and all that jazz.

I wouldn’t say I had no friends, but I was far from Mr. Popular. Long before a thing like a friend counter existed in the form of Myspace or Facebook like what we have today across various social media, kids on the playground just knew who were popular by the sheer look of it. These were the kids who always seemed to have their respective legion of “friends” tag along with them everywhere like mini-posses.

But did I want that? Honestly, the answer would be no. Continue reading

Random Kanji Knowledge: Tamago

Random Kanji Knowledge time!

Today’s kanji is , which is read as tamago (tah-mah-go).  means “egg.” With Easter tomorrow and all, eggs are very iconic for the holiday.

The stroke order for  is shown below.
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Random Kanji Knowledge: Kizuna

Random Kanji Knowledge time!

Today’s kanji is 絆, which is read as kizuna (key-zoo-na). 絆 means “bonds” (as in bonds that are emotional, relationship-driven and otherwise.)

絆 is a word you hear the Japanese say a lot. It’s important to talk about the “bonds” you have with others and what it means to you.

The stroke order for 絆 is shown below.
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