Daily NhanSense – Day 31

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Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 31’s Topic: Understanding yourself.


What do you do when you are your own mystery?

That’s what I want to figure out these days. It’s odd because I guess everyone should know themselves the best, but there are times where I feel like even I don’t understand what I am about anymore.

Quite peculiar. Quite peculiar, indeed.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction

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Daily NhanSense – Day 30

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Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 30’s Topic: Loneliness.


Having anti-social tendencies sucks, mainly when the feeling of loneliness starts creeping into your soul.

I understand myself. It’s in my nature. I have a lot of days where I just want my own space, to do my own thing, to be alone, but then there are other times where I yearn for some social contact.

It’s almost an everyday coin toss in this regard, and I never know what I will feel like throughout the week. I wish I could compromise with my anxiety and go like 50/50 with it, but that’s a lot of wishful thinking.

Like today, for instance, I just want to trap myself in my own personal bubble. I don’t want to be around people, but I kind of have to.

As a result, I create an awkward bind where I feel anxious about being near others, but I’m compelled to do so and thus I am going to feel all kinds of strange for the rest of the day.

Talk about a lot of conflicted feelings. Sheesh.
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Daily NhanSense – Day 24

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Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 24’s Topic: Emotions.


I have not been very good with my emotions for the past few years. One could say I have turned into an emotional wreck on some really bad days. I have learned how to cope with methods like suppressing my feelings, but it just seems to come out as a huge backlash when the buildup becomes too intense to hold back.

Day in and day out, I suppress and I suppress, but then the lid has to come blasting off at some point. I have annoyed a lot of people with who I am, at least the ones unfortunate enough to see the unpleasant side of me.

I snap. And then things go silent.

Sympathy becomes reluctance to hear me out.

I say sorry, and then the process repeats itself with little forward progress being made.

I hate this cycle. I need to break it.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction

Daily NhanSense – Day 22

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Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 22’s Topic: Dreams.


Do you happen to remember that one particular question we’re all asked as children?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

It’s such a novel question when you think about it. What do people, especially adults, hope to expect from a kid who barely knows that there is more to life than lunch and recess at school?

And let’s be real here. Every kid changes their mind at least 10,000,000+ times before they even have an inkling of what they want to do with their lives.

But I digress.

I remember a lot of my random answers as a child.

Firefighter. That’s a laugh. Even when I was younger, I wasn’t a very strong kid.

Be a doctor! My parents would tell me. Yeah, but I didn’t want to be one.

Be an engineer! “They make good money,” they would tell me. But math fell out of favor for me after the third grade. Not to mention, it’s safe to say that I don’t want to risk people’s lives with the bridges I design or anything like that. Cough. Cough.

Hey, the in-class simulations on the computer told me so!

Welp. That’s life in a nutshell. I think it’s odd how we are expected to lock in an answer so young and then expect ourselves to make that certain dream, that one particular nugget always looming in our imaginations, a reality at some point.

Sure, ideally, if someone had the destiny of being the greatest cardboard box designer in the world. By golly, that person should not let that potential go to waste.

Or so one would think.

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Daily NhanSense – Day 21

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Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 21’s Topic: Hope.


I don’t necessarily count myself as a Christian per se, but accepting God into my life about a year ago really meant a big deal to me.

Like, I was a lost soul. By the definition.

I didn’t know where my life was heading. Things felt grim. I thought I was going to end up somewhere completely awful at my rate.

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Daily NhanSense – Day 18

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Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 18’s Topic: Despair.


If there is one thing I am open to admitting as a weakness, it’s the fact that a lot of things can throw off my “vibe.” I truly loathe this aspect about me as a person, to the point where I desire functioning day-to-day without worrying that something is going to topple my emotional house of cards down.

If it’s even a whiff of discouragement or something else that’s negative heading my way, I have to brace myself more than I should. That kind of stuff is absurdly effective against me.

Being emotionally tough is a respectable trait to have to your name. I won’t say I am outright super sensitive for a guy per se, but I certainly can’t let things slide past me like it’s no big deal.
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Daily NhanSense – Day 15

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Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 15’s Topic: Social media.


A few weeks ago, I made a decision to deactivate my personal Facebook account. Like, it wasn’t that big of a deal or anything, but I felt compelled to test a hunch I had lurking in the back of my mind for a while.

And that was: if I were to “disappear” from Facebook for a while, would anyone notice?

Lo and behold, I turned off my Facebook and nothing really happened. But this was to be expected.

I have isolated myself for years now, and I just found myself often peeking around on Facebook to see what my friends and peers have been up to. At times, I can embarrassingly admit that I grew envious of what I would come across here and there.

A fancy job offer. Personal advancement. A brand-new car. Just whatever.

On one hand, I probably should be happy for them that they are moving ahead in life, but conversely I was feeling jealous that I was still more or less “stuck” and anchored to my circumstances.

Then again, one also has to remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. People love using Facebook as a means to set up some nice window dressing. I guess it is safe to assume not everything is as grand as it appears, though you shouldn’t rule out that things could in fact be going swimmingly for certain individuals.

But I had to cut that portion of Facebook out of my life, at least for now.
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