The feeling to “move on” with my life has been getting stronger and stronger in the past few weeks. I have been going through something that is not necessarily a rut per se, but it amounts to me not being completely content with my circumstances.
It is like my situation has been stuck on auto-pilot, where my everyday activities have devolved into the same rituals and I am just going through the motions while on repeat. My weeks have started to blur. Before I know it, a week has already passed me by and then it becomes a matter of waiting for the next week to do it all over again.
For a lot of things in life, there is no turning back once you commit to an action. After an initial leap of faith, what else can you feasibly do but see what happens next? Do you free fall toward your demise or do you finally get to somewhere that for too long you thought was unreachable?
I am at this point in my life. In a situation riddled with uncertainty and doubt, I kind of know what I want to do in the next coming months, but I am unsure of how to get there.
Recently, I’ve been stuck in a mental slump of sorts where I’ve been finding it challenging to do things at my very best. Some examples include how writing my comic book’s story has been increasingly difficult, my other writing projects have been left on the back burner for quite a while and I had to grind through lots of separate losing streaks in “League of Legends.” At first, I attributed this to some sort of exhaustion, but now I believe it’s because I wasn’t doing things in my own way.
My main way of thinking is linked to my gamer type – the Johnny archetype. Simply put, Johnny people prefer doing things in their own manner. The key is, Johnny players may disregard optimal decisions for the sake of individuality/creativity. For instance, a Johnny person may do something a tad slower than someone else if the “main” method doesn’t suit them.
So what has become of me after all of this?
Well, from a technical standpoint, my circumstances haven’t improved by very much. I still feel at least partially miserable about how my life has turned out for this past year, the journalism world looks like a place I don’t really want to be a part of anymore, being denied by Riot like that bummed me out by a lot, and, the real kicker, is I am a bit unsure of how I want to approach the next upcoming months.
But I do believe in the saying, “Everything happens for a reason.”
You think you know how the world works until something crazy happens to you.
It was a Monday, and I felt like destiny was on my side for once. I had two phone interviews lined up with Riot. My “list” was my wild card, or so I thought as I waited with bated breath for the first phone call.
However, it seemed like life’s cruel, unfair side was about to pull a fast one on me. And this one was gonna hurt.
Something worthwhile finally knocked on the door. Riot wanted to have some phone interviews with me.
At last, all my efforts seemed to be paying off. I now was poised with the opportunity to make my newfound dream of working at Riot a reality. I was extremely stoked for the chance. A lot of people thought my “list” wasn’t going to lead to anything, implying that I was just putting in so much time and energy toward writing the list entries to no avail.
But I proved those people wrong, at least up to this point in the endeavor.
I had a phone interview with a producer for the game, but time conflicts caused the phone interview to be pushed back for literally a whole month. And what a difficult month it was …