Author Archives: Nhan Fiction

About Nhan Fiction

I am a writer and a gamer. I am just a guy who is trying to be a cool cat in a dog-eat-dog world.

Everyday NhanSense – Day 8


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 8’s Topic: Finding hope.
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I have to say that I am happy to be blogging again for this past week. It has made me feel a lot better when I can express some of my excess emotions through this creative outlet. It’s just pleasant to write again. And I do mean this with complete sincerity.

When I graduated from college years ago, I wanted to be a journalist. My dream job was just to work in a newsroom setting of sorts. Of course, in retrospect, it was not the wisest decision to major in something that was, though not being faded out or anything, in the process of being restructured. The demand for a traditional journalist has shifted, and thus the amount of available of jobs are limited to say the least.

When any random person can be their own pseudo-journalist with their phones and other gadgets these days, the need for a regular journalist isn’t quite the same as it was even a decade ago. Nonetheless, I like to think that life has pushed me toward a different direction for some time now. It just doesn’t seem like it’s in the stars for me to become a typical journalist anytime soon, and I am fine with this.

But, of course, things have been scary in the meantime. Transitions are always difficult for me. I have a tricky time adapting to change, but life has thrown me into a situation where I have to rethink my plan of attack or I won’t survive. Plain and simple.

It has turned into a daily routine of somehow scraping up some gumption and looking for some kind of hope … just some kind of inkling that things will work out in due time.
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Everyday NhanSense – Day 7


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 7’s Topic: Self-esteem.
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When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?

Beyond the physical appearance and all that jazz. I mean … do you like what you see in all of your entirety? As in, I am referring to your whole state as a person in this thing called life. Do you approve of your status? Your sense of stability? Your relationship levels with others … and everything else that you could possibly care about in this world.

Basically, do you like you? If you were to walk up to yourself, staring right into your own eyes with a straight face, would you be able to say, “Yeah, I respect you.”

For me, the easy answer is no. No, I do not like what I see. If I don’t approve of myself, why the heck should others do the same for me? But then again, I am always just a work in progress. It’s annoying.

This is the point where I fight off the urge to punch a hole in the mirror, but broken glass and cleaning up the blood won’t make the personal, self-hating feelings go away. Only motivating myself to invoke positive change each day, no matter how marginal, can possibly accomplish anything worthwhile at this point.
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Everyday NhanSense – Day 6


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 6’s Topic: Burying the past.
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As I restructure this blog to my liking and continue to add more elements, while cleaning up the aspects that I don’t need anymore and whatnot, I came to realize that I have been keeping a lot of things around in an unhealthy way.

I am someone who dreads throwing things away unless I absolutely need to. In fact, I can say without hesitation that I probably cling on to many things, both in real life and online, beyond that of a normal person.

But it had to be done. It may not seem like much on the surface, but I decided to delete the entire “Past Blog Posts” page off this blog. All of the content within the page still exists on this blog, so it’s not like I destroyed the posts themselves with fire.

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However, deleting the page itself was quite liberating, I have to say …

Don’t get me wrong, though. A lot of posts on that page are/were in fact important to me in different shapes and forms. I poured my heart and soul into writing out those posts. They may not mean much to a lot of people, but they certainly hold a lot of personal value in my book.

But again, it had to be done. It just had to be done.

For my sake, I needed to think about burying the past. Yes, there were good times reflected in some of those blog posts. There were some crummy times discussed in some posts as well. Regardless of what was showcased in those particular posts, I just had to stop caring about the whole page and just discard it entirely.
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Everyday NhanSense – Day 5

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 5’s Topic: Heroes and villains.
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I have always loved superhero stuff, ever since I was a kid. There is something about seeing an individual/team of people do great things in the name of “justice,” whatever that really means. Maybe it’s the rad costumes or perhaps it’s my inner child always thinking that “being good” is what people are meant to be throughout their lives.

Some of my favorite superheroes are common ones such as Batman, Spider-Man and whatnot, with some obscure characters like Huntress being in the mix.

But beyond the capes and superhero emblems, I think it’s the notion of good versus evil that fascinates me so. Constantly, we are all challenged each day to be our own makeshift hero or villain. I believe everyone has to choose between both respective sides on a daily basis.

For instance, if someone were to collapse on the ground, the “good” thing to do would be to go over and help them out, right? Conversely, let’s say you instead go over and kick the person a few times while they are literally down, you take their wallet from the pocket and then scram. Is this act “evil” or are you just a rotten person?

Another example – you’re in the supermarket. You can go buy this bag of chips on the shelf with money or you can somehow slip it into your backpack and walk outside with it. Either way, you’ll end up with a bag of chips in your possession afterward, but even this simple situation has a lot more to it.
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Everyday NhanSense – Day 4


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 4’s Topic: Mentality.
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I’ll be frank.

Over the years, I have brooded a lot. Whether it was thinking that life was unfair or how I needed to dwell on a particular thing for quite awhile, I sometimes find myself wanting to sulk in a corner to let the negativity run its course.

But it’s days like this where I try to remind myself I need to spend more time brewing, as in coming up with solutions, and less time brooding. After all, if you can direct your energy toward being a negative nancy, isn’t the opposite true as well?

It sounds so simple, but it goes to show how incredibly obvious it all is. If you are being pessimistic with yourself, why can’t you flip the script to become an optimist instead? Why continue to see the glass half empty if you can just see the glass half full?

Analogies aside, the point is I know my mentality is what defines how I approach a crisis. When I am in a pinch, if I don’t have the right mindset to tackle an obstacle, I can only expect disaster to head my direction.
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Everyday NhanSense – Day 3


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 3’s Topic: Peace of mind.
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It’s almost 6 a.m. PST as I type this blog post out. As expected, it’s a side effect of having panic seep in all at once. The amount of worries have begun to pile up, causing me to experience insomnia and inconsistent sleep schedules. For the past few weeks in particular, I can’t say that I have hit the hay at the same time each night.

I have had to force myself to lie in bed and just hope I can doze off and catch some Z’s. I am not necessarily someone who needs a lot of sleep to function properly, but I’ll point out how I do have a restless mind multiple times throughout a typical evening.

Do you know what I mean? It’s that in-between area with your mind thinking thoughts and that state where you are kind of dreaming, but you’re not. One could say I take that trip to la la land often during bedtime. Gosh, I wish I could just lay my head on the pillow, flip that switch to tell my brain, “Go rest now” and then turn in for the night. Heh, if only it were that easy … if only. Continue reading

Everyday NhanSense – Day 2


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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 2’s Topic: Believing with faith in your heart.
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As it seems like I run out of resources and options in my current situation, I feel compelled to turn toward that one particular “F” word to help remedy some of my pain and worries.

Faith.

I am not a religious person by any means. I do not go to church or anything like that, so I don’t want to come off as preachy and in your face like a Bible salesman knocking on your door. However, these past few years have taught me to understand the notion of God and why believing in a higher power is both helpful and even therapeutic, especially when things appear bleaker each day for me.

Without faith, I would have slipped into an even darker place that I am all too familiar with … a place where I would never want anyone else to experience willingly. And let me tell you – it is all too easy to succumb to that particular darkness. It sneaks up to you when you are feeling down in the dumps, and then it blankets you in its ebony veil until traces of light start to fade away and disappear.

You become lulled into a sense of ease, but this is a false feeling. It’s not that your troubles are slipping away, because the rest of the world is going move on regardless, but instead it’s more like you are growing numb to both the good and the bad in your life.

In a sense, you transform into an empty husk wrapped tightly by scary thoughts, tucked away until someone or something shines some glimmer of hope your direction to awaken you, finally, from your deep stupor that will in fact consume you.
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