Chasing Shadows

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For a long while, I have been someone who chased after the shadows of other people. What I mean is, I have always tried to seek out and catch up with someone in a given area.

In social situations. In journalism. In gaming. In just about everything … at least until I realized I needed to think twice about why I was adamant about doing so.

There came a point when I needed to sort out exactly why a given shadow was so significant to me. At times, I believed I did not truly understand why I wanted to continue my pursuit. For instance, my first initial year after college graduation involved me trying to pursue a journalism job from the start.

I had many friends who nabbed journalism jobs, good ones at that, and this compelled me to give chase. I would use a shadow as a marker, as a threshold that needed to be reached. Of course, my initial battles with depression hindered me greatly, which further frustrated me to the point where I suffered great despair and lost confidence in myself.

But I digress – chases are usually difficult, after all. I think it is good for someone to have shadows they are always reaching out for, even if a shade of darkness is ultimately too elusive for one’s own good.

To this day, I have multiple shadow chases going on simultaneously. Many of my goals and dreams stem from these shadows. I think the important thing is, I must never give up on what I have in my sights, which is trying to get my life completely on track once again.

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