On days where I should feel great for the simple things that I accomplish, I somehow end up feeling worse than before. It’s like part of me has gotten so damaged from a yearlong fight with negative emotions that being happy is a challenge in itself. My spirit has cracked into a million pieces since the last time I felt intact. I have spent so much time picking up shard after shard that it seems like my hands are always dripping with metaphorical blood that seeps from the cuts given to me by the harsh touch of reality.
I am trying to recover in my own way, albeit slowly. From doing things like walking for hours every day to clear my mind from bad thoughts or devoting more time toward being productive in some way, it seems like I am making the right moves, but I still feel overwhelmed by my circumstances. I just wish the healing process were faster and more evident, as it seems like the day-to-day grind starts to apply further pressure on something that isn’t stable to begin with – my well-being.